Sat March 24th, 2012
It started out as a normal day…sitting around the house as usual, being bored out of my mind. Her due date was only 3 days earlier but I was frustrated because I always had a feeling that she would come early. Nevertheless, a normal day from what I had thought. Around 11 AM, I started getting contractions. AWESOME! It was a great feeling to know she was coming soon. They started to intensify (but were never consistent) around 1 in the afternoon to the point where Jaron had called into work to let them know that he would not be coming in that night. About the time he would have started his shift, the contractions almost went away completely. Darn! Not Saturday night.
Sun March 25th, 2012
I was excited to wake up with contractions on this day! It was my Dad’s birthday and I thought it would be special he and the baby shared this special day. It was early when they started (I believe around 4AM). We called the birth center early and were there by 6 AM. There was another birth going on, so by the time we got to see a midwife, it was about 7. I was so excited…this could be it! However, after doing the exam, we discovered I was only dilated 4 centimeters. The midwife instructed us to go home, walk around and try to jump start labor naturally. So that’s what we did. We went on several walks around the neighborhood that day. It was a beautiful day, so why not? Jaron didn’t have to work that night, but he did have to run a couple errands. So while he was gone, I danced and sang around the house to distract myself from the bad contractions. Yes…I danced to Britney and Beyonce and it was AWESOME! Not only did I feel energized, but I knew that every time I danced, the closer Riley was going to be born.
Even though I was doing my best to jump start labor, it wasn’t good enough. My contractions started becoming less and less powerful and further apart. What did I have to do to get this baby out?!? With that said, we decided that we stay home that night and see what would happen in the morning.
Mon. March 26th, 2012
The next day…grrrrr! I was frustrated another day had gone by. BUT I did wake up to contractions early in the morning! So…off to the birth center again to see what was going on. Can you guess how much I was dilated? That’s right…4 centimeters! After all that work already put in! It was around 7 in the morning when we went in and Susan (a midwife at the center) suggested going on a long walk. We did…for about two hours. It was painful! I just wanted to sit down through the contractions but we were venturing about 2 miles away from the center…we had to get back. It was cold, too and we wanted to get inside soon! When we got back to the center, Susan had left and Rachel was there instead. She examined me and I was STILL was 4 centimeters! Holy Cow!! I was so frustrated and tired that I just broke down in tears. It was so upsetting to hear that with all the work put in (and with the lack of sleep), that it still wasn’t good enough. Rachel gave me a hug and gave us some suggestions to help us and sent us home. Several hours later (I think around 7pm at this point) I received a call from Rachel to see how I was doing. She was helpful and told us to call whenever. We did end up calling her back around 9:30 to let her know we were coming in because finally contractions were powerful and closer together. And would you have guessed? I was STILL dilated 4 centimeters. Talk about being in shock! Here I was thinking that after two days that I would have some progression. I wasn’t thinking 9 centimeters or anything, but still!! What did I have to do?! Knowing how drained I was, Rachel suggested Ambien to help me sleep and to help jump contractions in the morning. So…we got the prescription and got home. I took a bath, ate and just tried to take it easy. Another day had gone by and still no baby.
Tues March 27th, 2012
I didn’t get much sleep that night. Not from excitement or emotions or anything. But from major CONTRACTIONS! WOO HOO! We headed down to the birth center with the mentality that this still may not be the time. We prepared to have our back-up plan in action in case I still had not progressed. But when we had my cervix examined, we learned I was 7 centimeters! FINALLY! I started to cry again because I was just so overwhelmed! Today was the day my daughter was going to be born!
We took all of our things in the bedroom upstairs and started to prepare for active labor. It was about 9 in the morning when we set up. Now, I will not go into details about the labor not because it isn’t interesting, but because it was a long and draining process. I was dancing, singing, walking, climbing stairs, sitting on the balance ball, bathing…you name it. I was doing my best to get this baby out. I wasn’t eating full meals (and really hadn’t been the last few days) because my contractions were taking over. So, between the lack of sleep and food, I was running low on energy. I was frustrated because of the slow progression of labor. And most importantly, I was feeling defeated. It had been 3 days of contractions, pain and anxiety. I was pooped!
It was around 9:30 in the evening when Susan sat me down and asked me what I was afraid of. I was kind of taken back by the question, but it was needed. What WAS I afraid of? Maybe it was the pain. But it wasn’t. I knew pain was inevitable. Maybe it was because I was at the birth center for 12 hours and still no baby. Who knows? Nevertheless, we had come to the conclusion that it wasn’t fear that was halting my labor, but the lack of energy and my lack of confidence that the baby was coming at all. Jaron and I discussed with each other and concluded that going to the hospital was the best option. It had been 3 long, draining days and I just needed rest and to get the baby out. It wasn’t what I wanted at ALL but I knew that I needed to do what was best for my baby. What was interesting about my mental state at this point was that I actually physically slowed my labor down. That’s right. Right before we had made that decision, I was contracting almost every two minutes. From the time it took to make the decision to the time I sat down in the hospital bed (about an hour), I had only had maybe 5 contractions at most. My body needed the rest and it was SO obvious!
We arrived at the hospital around 10:45 that night and I was SO excited to be there! The hospital had already discussed with Susan that their plan for me was to get me an epidural and Pitocin right away and after the week I had…I was really looking forward to it! The epidural…HORRIBLE! Besides the back pain from labor earlier, the epidural was the worst pain that day! But after it was in, I was a happy camper. I went from feeling every single pain to wondering if that itch in my pelvic area was another contraction. I was almost immediately hungry after the epidural was in, but hospital rules restricted meals during labor. Oh well…at this point, it was just a waiting game until I was 10 centimeters.
Wed. March 28th, 2012
I kept looking at the clock second by second hoping another day would not go by so that it could finally be her birthday. I was SO exhausted and winded that I just wanted the whole thing to be over with. But as the minute hand pasted midnight, I came-to, thinking that this was meant to be. March 28th…her birthday.
I thought that with the epidural in that it would be within an hour that she would be delivered. But to my amazement, even at 9 centimeters, it would still take me a while to deliver. With my research, personal beliefs and background with the natural childbirth community, I always vowed that if for whatever reason I needed pain medication, that I would not abuse or overuse it. Anyone who knows me knows that I barely take anything as it is even for the worse pain. However, under the circumstances, I was in need for a personal intervention: just get this baby out regardless. I kept hitting the epidural button every time I started to feel my feet again (horrible, I know!). But I wanted to have all the energy I had left to push.
I don’t remember what time Jaron said he saw her head, but I knew I didn’t want to see it. I already told my body to stop contractions earlier; I didn’t want my body to be discouraged by what little I could see (considering I was feeling more). It was painful, yes. But the epidural helped SO much! It wasn’t nearly as bad as the worse contraction I had at the birth center. With all my pushing, I was feeling tired, discouraged and emotional because she wasn’t here yet. But soon enough, she was out enough for Megan (our RN) to call for the doctor. All of a sudden, there was a crowded room of people getting ready for her. The doctor prepped me, instructing me to push for a matter of time, but not to scream (ya, right!). Before I realized it, POP! Little Riley Beth was in the world! I was so tired and was upset that I didn’t hear her, but once I heard that first cry, I cried myself too! There were three babies in the room because Jaron was feeling the same emotions too.
It was 4:12 AM and it was worth it. All this pain, agony and frustrations were WORTH it! I am so happy and proud of myself for how I did. Even though it wasn’t the natural birth I wanted, it was the way little Riley wanted to be born…her own special way. Jaron, too. Without him, none of this could have been possible. It was four days of constant disappointment, exhaustion and heartbreak. And he was there for each and every second of it. He was there holding my hand, helping me scream and offered help every time he could. It was draining on him, too and I love that he was there to help me through my moments the whole time. Now, we have little Riley in our lives and we couldn’t be any happier. :)
